An Ode to Rick Moranis on His 64th Birthday

‘I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn.’

What does a lyric from a song from ‘Wicked’ have to do with Rick Moranis? Well, for me, everything.

Some people connect very strongly with saints, and oh, how I’ve tried to be like them. But I’ve realized that Rick is a sort of my modern-day saint. (Well, he’s Jewish, so maybe I’d better call him a mensch.) No, he’s not perfect, and no, I don’t worship him or think myself to be some sort of philosopher or authority on saintliness, but I could not have chosen a better role model than Rick Moranis. Just look at the way he left the glamour and fame of Hollywood to be with his children.

In the last few months of 2013, by some thread of God’s huge plan, I fell head over heels for Rick Moranis. I’d watched his movies, such as the ‘Honey…’ films and ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ and even the Noggin TV movie ‘Miss Spider’s Sunnypatch Kids’, since I was just a toddler, but once I’d become a young, impressionable teenager, a puny little fish swimming through a vast sea of nonsense, looking for something pure to hold onto, you’d better believe that I clung to him. I really fell in love with him and with his life story. Everything from the fact that he was radio DJ Rick Allan back before he was famous, to the fact that he and his son hid from the patrol officer in Central Park so that they could place ice hockey, I love it all. I’ve watched just about every interview, listened to every song, podcast, read every article and book, and watched every TV show and movie (except for the elusive ‘The Wild Life’, so if you can hook me up, you’d be doing me a huge favour!). In fact, I’ve crammed my brain full of so many facts on this dude and his work that I have my own podcast, available on iTunes, about him (which I would love to have him on as a guest someday)!

It really isn’t easy being a nerd. I absolutely love who I am, but I want to go on record as saying that I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t choose the nerd life, the nerd life chose me. I have really poor eyesight. Contacts are a hassle, so I generally wear glasses. Strike one. On top of that, I was born completely missing my adult set of lateral incisors. Strike two. In middle school and early high school, if you ask me, my mouth looked like a mess. I had braces and two big gaps right next to my front teeth. Of course, this had to be confusing to the eye of an outsider, and was an easy target for dumb remarks. Once I’d finally gotten the braces off, there was a long period in which I wore a retainer that had two fake teeth attached to it. They would snap into place exactly where I was missing my teeth, and it was great! … Except for when I had to eat. I had to pop out my false teeth (imagine that, 14 years old and already with false teeth) and face the world with an unusual smile. Rick also taught me the art of the closed-mouth smile, which I utilized often throughout this era. And strike three, I have a tendency to become very obsessed with things, so much so that for a while, my subject of interest will be the only thing I can speak fluently, and with interest, about. So I’ve got that geeky thing going for me. BUT I DIGRESS.

Rick Moranis is the king of the nerds. Just look at his body of work! He plays the geeks, the dweebs, the nerds, the geniuses, the innocents… And the hosers, of course. And they’re all beautifully weird, just like him. He gave me hope that I, too, could be both nerdy and cool at the same time. And you know what? I think I’ve achieved that rather well. Not only did Rick Moranis help me feel good about myself during those years, but his countless works of art have provided me with hours of fun, entertainment, distraction from the hardships of everyday life, and most of all, inspiration. I had always loved performing, but after ‘studying’ Rick, I was absolutely sold on the fact that this was what I wanted to do with my life. But whether I was laughing along with Bob and Doug in ‘Strange Brew’ or singing along to his ‘Salute to Late ‘50s Crooners, Obscure British Bands, and Bill Withers’, I was having an amazing time while also becoming so educated on the last century, expanding my vocabulary, and consequently gaining a plethora of knowledge and trivia about many different things, including Judaism and Canada, too.

I really don’t know quite where to fit this into this entry, but I have to point out the fact that about two dozen people have either mistaken me for Rick’s daughter or said that I look like him. It’s actually hilarious and always makes me very happy. I must be pretty cute after all, if I look anything like him!

And now here I am, sitting here on April 18, 2017 with a little cupcake in his honour, preparing myself to go to college as a radio/TV/film major with a minor in theatre. I really think that Rick is to thank for a large portion of this, of who I am today. I can’t wait to continue Rick Allan’s legacy once I get onto the college radio station, and Rick Moranis’ legacy once I get to the small or big screen. I have learned so much from him, much more than could ever be taught in my four measly years of high school.

So Rick, I doubt you’ll ever read this sappy mess of a diary entry, and I doubt you’ll realize how much you mean to me, but I hope that I get to meet you someday and give you a big hug. Your fake daughter loves you very much. Happy 64th Birthday, you beautiful hoser! x


... May I also point out that there is no better day for Tax Day to fall on than this? x