Sk8erBoi: Dude as soon as I finish dinner I’m coming over okay? :D
Razputin: What? It’s Sunday night, we have school tomorrow.
Sk8erBoi: BUT IT’S CABBAGE NIGHT!!! WE NEED TO GO MAKE MAYHEM!!!
Razputin: Cabbage Night?!?!
Sk8erBoi: Mischeif Night??? You know!!! Pranks bro!!!
Razputin: U spelled mischief wrong :P
Sk8erBoi: I never could spell that one
Razputin: What’s Cabbage Night? I never heard of it
Sk8erBoi: Huh must be a New Jersey thing. U go out & pull pranks that’s all bro!!
Sk8erBoi: Anyway BE READY AT 8 OKAY!?! WE’RE GOING OUT
Razputin: ………
Sk8erBoi: Corey?????? Is that a yes bro??
Razputin: Fine fine fine
Sk8erBoi: :D
Sk8erBoi has left the chat.
Razputin has left the chat.
8 p.m. rolled around and there was a knock on the Nakajima household’s front door.
“I’ll get it, it’s just Braydon,” Corey told his parents as he strode towards the door, only to open it to reveal a 5’10” tall, chubby Batman.
“Sup bro!” Braydon grinned, before lowering his voice into his best Christian Bale impression. “I’M BATMAN.”
Corey shook his head, his black hair with frosted tips swaying along in disbelief. Sometimes he really couldn’t believe that Braydon was a real human being. “You’re really going to wear that thing? You know Halloween isn’t until tomorrow night.”
“Of COURSE dude! I didn’t spend $50 on this to let it sit in my closet. One night’s not enough, I need to get two nights out of this to get my money’s worth. C’mon, I’ve got six cans of shaving cream, ten rolls of toilet paper, and a lot of ideas.”
“Don’t tell me we’re going to Taco Bell again.”
“No, we’ll save that for next weekend.”
The two boys headed out to Braydon’s black (or was it purple? No one could ever tell), beat-up 2000 Honda Civic— the inside was even worse than the outside. Did he ever throw his trash away? But they were both so used to it that neither cared.
“We’re not getting in trouble tonight, bro. We can’t get caught,” said Corey, brushing a hamburger wrapper off of the passenger seat and sliding into the car.
“Relax, bro!” Braydon replied, sitting in the driver’s seat and closing the door behind him. He lowered his voice again, “Batman doesn’t get caught.”
With that, Braydon slipped the CD ‘Music from and Inspired by Spider-Man’ into the CD player and started blasting “Hero” by Chad Kroeger. Corey couldn’t complain about Braydon’s music choice; Spider-Man was too good to argue against. The car zipped down the street, under the dark, late autumn sky.
“Where are we?” Corey asked as Braydon pulled the car to a stop outside a random house. “I just realized you didn’t even tell me where we were going. How do you always rope me into these things with so little information?”
Braydon just chuckled and shrugged, adjusting his Batman mask. He really shouldn’t have worn that while driving; it was a wonder he didn’t crash the car into a tree. “Remember that rotten lunchroom monitor from middle school? The one who we called the Walrus because she barked like one when she yelled at us?!” He asked with an impish gleam in his blue eyes and a huge grin on his face. For a typically sweet and goofy guy, he had a surprisingly devious side.
“Shut up! This is NOT her house!” Corey replied incredulously. Why the hell did Braydon even know where this woman lived?!
The soft, freckly boy nearly squeaked as he nodded, so eager to wreak some well-deserved havoc that he was nearly bursting at the seams. “It is! C’mon, let’s go TP the trees in her yard and write something on the driveway!”
The Japanese boy heaved a heavy sigh. Such a world-weary sigh for someone only 17 years old. “… Well she did confiscate my Pokemon cards one time…”
“See! That’s all the reason you need! C’mon, and make sure you’re quiet,” Braydon said, slipping out of the car stealthily.
As quietly as possible, he opened the trunk and grabbed a few rolls of toilet paper, tossing them to Corey as he exited the car. Braydon grabbed the shaving cream, shut the trunk, and ran up on the grass with Corey. They tore the protective paper off of the TP and stared up at the tree.
“I don’t think I can take the first throw, Braydon,” Corey finally confessed, brown eyes glued to the nearly-barren thing, hands trembling as they held the TP roll. This didn’t seem right.
“Then just follow my lead, I guess,” Braydon replied. This seemed like such a hilarious idea earlier, but now that he was really here, it kind of seemed wrong. But it was too late. His hands threw the toilet paper roll over a branch before he could process his change of heart. And it… kind of felt good! Braydon ran to pick up the toilet paper roll and chucked it over another branch. He did it again and again, panting slightly the more he did it, but grinning all the while. “Come— come on dude! Go for it!”
“For Bulbasaur!” And so Corey joined in, copying his best friend, helping him to absolutely decorate the hell out of this tree. In a matter of moments, it became a totally spooky-looking, ghost-infested tree. And the boys couldn’t help but laugh at what they’d just done, sharing a high five. Solid work.
“Okay, that was pretty fun after all,” Corey decided with a smile. “Now let’s get outta here before we get caught.”
“Wait wait wait there’s just ONE more thing I have to do—“ Braydon said, jogging over to the driveway of the house. He picked up a can of shaving cream, gave it a hearty shake, and started writing something on the blacktop.
Corey walked up behind him and squinted. He could just make it out in the darkness. “‘Cabbage’? You wrote ‘cabbage’?”
“He-he-he-h’yeah!” Braydon chuckled, finding himself hilarious. “Cos it’s Cabbage Night! You know!” He laughed harder as he took a look at his work, admiring it. What a fine job he’d done. “Now let’s get outta here. You wanna stop by my house?”
“I guess. I did leave my ascot there the other day,” the Venturing Scout replied.
Not five minutes later, the two boys waltzed into the Woźniak household. There wasn’t much to see on the outside, but the inside was beautifully decorated for Halloween.
“Hey Mom, hey Dad,” Braydon greeted his parents, who were sitting in the kitchen.
“Hello Mr and Mrs Woźniak,” Corey said with a smile.
“Corey! It’s so nice to see you,” Braydon’s mom said, getting up. “Here, I found this in the living room the other day,” she said, handing him his ascot. “I think it belongs to you.”
“Thank you very much!”
Just then the phone rang.
“I’ll get it,” Mr Woźniak said, getting up and going into the other room, reaching for the smooth white telephone that was mounted on the wall. So 2005.
Reaching into the fridge, Braydon tossed Corey a Ritz crackers and cheese dip pack, and got one for himself too. Being a delinquent was hard work.
A moment later, Mr Woźniak returned, bewildered and a little peeved. “My sister says someone threw toilet paper all over her front lawn! And wrote ‘cabbage’ in shaving cream on the driveway! What kind of an idiot does that!?”
For a solid three seconds, the boys’ hearts stopped beating. Sweat began to form on their foreheads. Whoops. Major mistake.
“Uh, C-Corey’s actually gotta head home, he hasn’t finished his homework yet, but gee, that’s really weird, Dad!” Braydon said quickly, trying to act normal yet somehow failing.
Corey got the hint and hastily joined Braydon in heading out the door. “Thank you for having me over! Happy Halloween!”
As soon as Corey and Braydon got back into Braydon’s car, they paused, shared a look, and burst into raucous laughter. This was a Cabbage Night they’d never forget!
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